I do it myself!

I know I have previously called Mr 5 Captain Fussy, but he is fast being out fussed by his little brother, Mr Indescribable (no, honestly, my mind goes blank when trying to think of a catchy one word description of him). Here is an example of his schedule recently.

Sunday morning. Daylight saving has finished, so he wakes at 6.12 am old time, 5.12 am new time. I have volunteered to give hubby the lie in and do breakfast.

• I don't want a nappy (after going to the toilet, so we need to replace the nappy, either with new or old, I don't care, I just want to see if I can convince him to go back to bed for 20 mins or so)
• I don't want undies either (so fine, I put PJ pants back on without anything, praying to the god of the toilet division that we'll get away with a dry bed, because although I tell myself I don't care, I know I'll regret it if he wets the bed)
• I don't want to hop back in bed, I want to lie on the floor in the corner in the 40F (about 4C) cold (Fine, I'll put a blanket on you, and threaten that if you don't lie quietly I'll shut the door)
• I want to hop up "I just awake" "it morning time" (it is black dark)  (but I lie possum in our room for about 20 mins, just to enforce the point)
• I want breakfast, so we go downstairs to get breakfast. but then we find something to play with, so 
• I don't want breakfast. but then we see big brother getting breakfast, so 
• I do want breakfast (and I'll whinge like you were starving me)
• I want cereal, starting with oats but 
• I want to get my own, while spilling half the container on the table, (and I'll get upset and frustrated about that too).
• I want cheerios (but "I do it myself", which we can't let him do, as he doesn't have the co-ordination to stop once he starts, with inevitable results)

And here is the clanger -

• I want rice pockets. After double checking, I pour them in, but once they are poured in:
• I don't want rice pockets (so I break every parenting rule in the book, and pick rice pockets out from amongst the cheerios. Thank goodness I hadn't mixed them in yet...) 
• I don't want milk (but we do eventually establish that he does want a spoon, presumably to eat it dry). Then - seeing as big brother is having fruit toast - 
• I want fruit toast (and whinges that it doesn't magically instantly appear on his plate) After coming into kitchen to supervise fruit toast, 
• I want milk but then for some reason, after the cup is poured, I don't want milk, but then when I go to put it away in the fridge, he gets upset about putting it away. Apparently he doesn't want milk, but he wants it on the table lined up beside the cereal he also doesn't want.
• I want jam on my fruit toast (seriously, this is an abomination on so many levels...)
• Dad arrives, and nearly pours milk on cereal after being asked for milk on cereal, and it is only at the last minute that he too is informed that he doesn't want milk...
• Finally, after eating all of his fruit toast, with jam (bleugh), and drinking the milk he doesn't want, he wants milk on his cereal - and HE EATS THE ENTIRE BOWLFUL. We are, understandably, a touch flabbergasted.